


Settle for Half

by mysterKey



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Dance, Anal Sex, Basketball, M/M, Pining, What else is new, i suck so bad at summaries jfc, mark is stupid, still don't know how to tag, ten is stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 12:41:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19173496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysterKey/pseuds/mysterKey
Summary: The initial intimidation that rushes through you the moment you lay eyes on the person you aspire to me never fades away. For Mark, it morphs from an 'I want to be like you' to an 'I want to be you.' He can't exactly pinpoint when exactly that shift occurred for him when it came to Ten but he imagines that it's the culmination of a lot of alcohol driven stupidity and mild desperation.





	Settle for Half

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic came about when I realized that there were only nine (9!!!) fics in this tag (or at least only 9 when I started this a week ago) and I want to shout out to [Berryboys](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16900740) for making me think that this ship should even exist. Seriously if you haven't read their fic go do that right now.  
> Can't believe I'm still trash at writing summaries when I've written this much. Also this is unbeta'd so if there is any issue, that's just human nature. 
> 
> Idk why I started writing this when I have two other long fics that i'm working on but to each their own. The title comes from Epik High's No Different which is a really good song that i kind of fitting for this fic. It took about a week to birth this and I'm happy with how it turned out so please enjoy! 
> 
> Quick breakdown of the ages:  
> 95-96 liners Seniors  
> 97-98 liners Juniors  
> 99-00 liners sophomores  
> anything else freshmen

"Hey dude, what are you staring at so hard?" Lucas breaks his concentration. His long body disrupts Mark's perfect view of the object of his affection. They're supposed to be running cool down drills, two laps around the gym and stretches to make sure their muscles don't tense up post practice. Lucas isn't as stupid as he lets on so he follows Mark's eyeline and turns back with a smirk on his face. "So there's Ten, Jaemin, and Renjun over in that direction. Considering you know that I'm in deep like with Renjun, that leaves Jaemin and Ten. Which one is it Mark?" 

Mark ignores Lucas’ question choosing instead to turn the attention back to Lucas. "Any progress on that?" Mark doesn't know Renjun too well. He's a good friend of Jaemin and Jaemin is Donghyuck's boyfriend and Donghyuck is Mark's best friend so they've crossed paths more than a few times but it wasn't nearly enough for him to consider Renjun a friend. The shorter man has been the apple of Lucas' eye ever since the dancer knocked out a guy on the football team at a party their freshmen year with a single punch because the jock wouldn't take no for an answer. That night Lucas said something about wanting to be dominated by the guy and hasn't been interested in anyone else since. 

Lucas hums, "Not really. He likes playing hot and cold which confuses me but I'm unbelievably turned on." To Mark's pleasure Lucas forgets that they were talking about his love interest. 

"Hey guys, meeting in the locker rooms." The captain, Johnny, jogs up to the pair to rally them. God dammit right as the dance team was getting into their stretches. Damn you Johnny Seo. Reluctantly, Mark heads to the locker room sparing one last glance at the dance team before walking in. 

Johnny begins his speech, "Hey guys, I know that summer training has been hard and coach has been drilling us endlessly for the upcoming season but I just want to thank you guys for working hard every day. I'm super proud of our growth as a team and I hope that you guys are also proud of yourselves." 

"What a sap, John!" Lucas heckles.

Johnny rolls his eyes, ignoring Lucas. "Anyways, with the semester starting up again soon we'll have to focus on the student part of student athlete again. While I think the team is super important, our grades are also important so don't let you physical, mental, or academic health go off track just because of the team." 

"Alright cap!" 

"To close out the summer session, we'll be hosting a party at Chenle's place that he so kindly offered to us." The locker room erupts into a roar, the guys nearest to the freshmen patting him on the back.

"Sorry to interrupt the festivities but Johnny we need your help out here." The team quiets down, all attention pointed at the smaller dancer at the entrance.

"Sure thing, Ten." Ten and Johnny were close, Johnny always running at Ten's beckon call. If you didn't know them you'd think that they were dating but the pair says they're nothing more than 'best friends.' It was hard to believe considering how they interacted with one another and how many flirty quips were exchanged between the two. 

"Are the dancers invited to this party too, Johnny?" Wonwoo calls. It was a good question, Mark was curious about it too. Not that he had much of a choice whether he’d be attending or not but he’d be less reluctant to do so with the promise that the dance team would be there.

"How else are you guys supposed to have fun?" Ten winks in their direction before exiting with Johnny. 

"Dude, want to go grab lunch?" Lucas leans back against the locker next to Mark's as the shorter man finishes packing up. Mark closes his locker, flinging his bag over his shoulder ready to head home for the day. 

"Dude, we're sweaty and disgusting." 

"Girls like that don't they? Athletic guys." 

"No, you like small athletic sweaty guys." 

"True. But still, lunch?" 

"Can't. I need to get out of these clothes asap and have a shower." 

"I can't take this betrayal." 

"The dancers don't get out of practice for a few hours so if you want to ogle at them in the quad you have a few hours of downtime. Go freshen up and look pretty okay." 

"The fact that you think that I can be anything less than pretty shows how misguided you are." 

 

 

"Whoa." Lucas and Mark's jaws drop in unison as they drive up to Chenle's place. Suddenly Mark's eight year old Toyota that he worked four summers to afford seemed out of place. Chenle's wealth wasn't a secret to anyone on the team, he never even tried to hide it. It was hard to do so when he rotated between three pairs of airpods and was chauffeured around town when he wanted to go out. The freshmen actually had the talent to be placed on the team so people let his wealth status be ignored until it got forced in their faces like it is right now. 

"Chenle, you're fucking loaded." The younger guy ushers them inside. 

The freshmen shrugs, "Yeah, I guess. You guys can keep your shoes on. We have a cleaner coming in the morning. Come bring the snacks this way." Johnny gave them (well actually just Mark) the task of getting snacks because he trusted him so they headed to the party early. 

"Nice!" Lucas exclaims, "No cleaning up while hungover!" 

"If you decide to drink and can't drive home, we have guest rooms set up but please don't throw up." 

Mark went into this night planning not to drink too much and limit it to the beginning of the night so that by the end of the night he could still drive himself and Lucas back to the dorms. And maybe Donghyuck, but he decided to catch a ride with the dancers later. They needed to be "fashionably late," whatever that meant. So maybe he would head home with them too, Mark would have to ask him later. 

Mark got stupid when he drank too much. Or as Donghyuck liked to say got more stupid than usual. The last party that he drank way too much he ended up making out with a girl that ended up following him around for three months despite Mark's signals that he wasn't interested. It wasn't until Donghyuck snapped at her one day while they were eating lunch that she got the message. Mark will be eternally grateful for Donghyuck. 

Tonight was about not being stupid. That’s all he had to do. Don’t be stupid. And that plan was going great until the dance team walked in and fucked it all up. This was supposed to be a casual thing but who told them to show up looking like  _ that _ . It was fucking rude to be quite honest. So Mark finds himself downing a cup of the punch Johnny made earlier. For the amount of rum Mark saw Mark dump into this jug, it just tastes fruity on his tongue. That was the most dangerous kind of punch. 

“Hey buddy, slow down won’t you?” Mark flinches at the sudden presence of Donghyuck and Jaemin. Their eyelids are glittering and their shirts are more sheer than they should be. Mark wonders whose bright idea it was for them to show up looking that way but Mark can’t say that he’s mad about it. Eye candy was always a bonus in any situation.

“Don’t tell me what to do mom.” Mark rolls his eyes, taking another swig. 

“I thought you weren’t planning on drinking tonight.” Donghyuck pours himself a cup of juice, handing it over to Jaemin first. 

Mark crinkles his nose, “I wasn’t until you guys decided to show up like that.” 

“We knew the jocks would like this. You guys are weak when it comes to pretty people.” Okay, he’s not entirely wrong. There were other people at the party not just the team and the dancers. The guys invited their significant others and some invited other friends. There was enough hormonal tension to go around in the room but really the dancers stole the show. 

Jaemin looks at him once over a smile on his lips, “A little birdie told me that you might have a crush on me.” Donghyuck’s eyes blow open, before they narrow at his best friend.

Mark groans, “If that birdie is Lucas, he’s an idiot that doesn’t know that you and Haech are dating.” He knew that Lucas could be loose lipped when he wasn’t cautious but he didn’t think that he’d spread it this fast. Renjun was probably involved in this equation. The taller man always got a bad case of word vomit whenever the other was around.  

“So, who do you have a crush on then?” Jaemin wiggles an eyebrow at him. On a good day it isn’t that easy to break Mark’s resolve, but this was something he especially wanted to stay tight lipped on. 

“No.” Mark refuses. Surely if Jaemin knew, he’d make fun of him for pining after someone so astronomically out of his league. 

“Oh come on, it can’t be that bad right.” Jaemin looks over to his boyfriend who won’t meet his eyes. “You know don’t you? Hyuck.” Jaemin whines pulling on Donghyuck’s arm. 

“Don’t look at him!” Mark warns Donghyuck, “His eyes make you weak.” 

“Sorry babe, I really can’t tell you this time around.” 

“I thought that we were friends.” Jaemin pouts. 

Mark shrugs, “I guess not. See ya.” Mark migrates to another part of the party. An intense game of beer pong between Johnny and Ten versus Jaehyun and Doyoung. Jaehyun is a junior on the team, he’s pretty quiet but he was a pretty good ball player and that was the only thing that mattered. Doyoung is just a friend that Jaehyun manages to drag out of their dorm every now and again. The guy was fun to be around when he wanted people around which wasn't often from what Mark had seen. 

This matchup was probably the worst thing to happen since overly plucked eyebrows in the early 2000s. Not because both of the teams were bad at pong but as people all four of them were amongst some of the most competitive people he’s ever met. Jaehyun and Johnny were more reserved with their frustrations but it was obvious that they took defeat pretty seriously. Ten and Doyoung on the other hand could never let the other live down their losses. It was truly a match made in hell. 

“Believe it or not, they’ve been at this for like ten minutes. I’m beginning to think about sabotaging.” The comment comes from Taeyong, another senior that he knows because of Johnny. He was co-captain of the dance team along with Ten, although he lacks the shimmery eyelids and revealing tops that the rest of the team sported tonight. He didn’t need something like that to attract attention, his face was a beacon on its own. 

“Johnny would never forgive you.” Taeyong and Johnny were weird. He was the only thing that kept Mark from being completely convinced that Johnny and Ten were a couple. They never put a title on whatever they were but they also weren’t seeing other people on the side. Weird.  

“Honestly, it might be worth it. Put me out of my misery so that I never have to suffer through this again.” 

Johnny and Ten roar, enveloping each other in a hug. Mark wasn’t paying attention much but he assumes that this means they won. “You owe us coffee for a week!” 

“I want a rematch!” Doyoung shouts. 

“Don’t be a sore loser, Doyoung. Maybe try again at the next party, yeah?” Johnny’s smirk at the end isn’t anything less than vexing.  

Johnny and Ten make their way over to where they are standing. Johnny wraps his arms around Taeyong, surprising him with a hug. “See that babe?” Johnny pulls back with a smile, “We fucking won!” 

“What the fuck? Don’t be so fucking coupley. Mark!” Sometimes it still shocks him that Ten even knows his name. “Give me a hug so I don’t feel left out.” Before Mark even has the time to protest, he’s being pulled into a tight hug. Ten smells like fruity vanilla, like comfort. Mark isn't quite sure what to do with his hands so he keeps them balled up at his sides but he can feel his body involuntarily curling into Ten's embrace. "Thanks for giving me affection. Us single people need to stick together." 

Ten pulls away and it leaves Mark's heart clattering in his chest. He could melt right there where he stood. His soul could lift right out of his body and reach nirvana. Ten. Mark can't pinpoint the moment when he started to develop a crush on Ten. 

It starts of with intimidation. Mark is fresh faced at this third basketball practice of the summer session. They're given a thirty minute break to grab a snack before they're due to start up again. 

"Are you guys interested in seeing a show?" Ten had shorter silvery-grey hair back that but he still carried himself with the same amount of confidence. The older members of the team perform to a remix Beyonce's 'Crazy in Love' and Mark is stunned by how easily the man can command the stage with a single look. When they go into the dance break section fit with enough popping and locking that it makes Mark's joints ache, in awe. It scared him. 

Mark supposes that the intimidation never goes away really. It morphs from an 'I want to be like you' to an 'I want to be you.' But he can't remember when that exact moment happened. Maybe it was when Ten brought him coffee in the middle of an all nighter during midterm week during the fall semester of his freshman year. Albeit, Ten was actually bringing Jaemin and Hyuck coffee and it would've been an asshole move to leave Mark out in this circumstance. But the older man had punctuated the cute little motivational message on his coffee cup with a heart. That had to mean something right?

Maybe it was when Mark had been a complete idiot and tripped on the track scraping up his shins earlier this summer. Ten was the only sensible person in the vicinity with a first aid kit. 

"Dancers get hurt pretty often you know. You can't be too prepared." Ten made friendly chatter as he patched the younger man up. Despite Mark's protests, Ten insisted on patching the basketball player himself. "Taeyong has like a five hundred piece kit. It's insane."

"I actually don't find that hard to believe." 

Ten laughed then, his eyes shrinking into small crescents. And Mark swears that that's when his brain short circuited and hasn't been the same since. "Be careful out there." 

But right now, Mark is so sure that he's in over his head. He needs another drink, or two or three. 

And that's how he ends up slung over Lucas' shoulder, being lugged to one of Chenle's guest rooms. That only came after Mark failed at an attempt to do the worm on the dance floor and an attempt to strip his shirt off. "Dude, what the fuck? You weren't supposed to drink." 

"I messed up." Mark mumbles into his shoulder. Mark groans when Lucas haphazardly throws him on the bed. 

"Stay here. If I see you running around out there in a few minutes I will not hesitate to tackle you on the ground." 

The next time Mark opens his eyes, a hazy picture of Ten materializes before him. "Ah!" Mark tumbles backwards off the bed. Has the ground always been this hard? 

"Jesus, are you okay?" Ten runs to his side. 

"Just leave me here to die." Mark curls further into himself. How many times in one night could he embarrass himself in front of Ten in one night? 

"Don't be so dramatic kid. Have some water." Ten dangles a water bottle in front of Mark's face. "If it makes you feel any better. I'm on check up duty and you're doing much better than this other sophomore Yangyang." 

Kindly accepting the water bottle, Mark sits up. "What'd he do?" 

"He jumped into the pool naked and when they pulled him out he proceeded to throw up into the nearest potted plant.  You should've seen how mad Chenle was. I told him not to volunteer his house but he didn't listen to me because he wants to be cool. It's karma."

"Christ." 

"Everyone has their fair share of embarrassing drinking stories so don't worry about it. Are you feeling okay?" 

"I've felt better?" He’ll probably end up with a hangover in the morning but with the alcohol still coursing through his veins all he feels right now is dizzy. 

Ten ruffles a hand through Mark’s fringe, “Then you’d doing quite all right then, kid.” 

Mark removes Ten’s hand from his head, holding Ten’s hand in his lap. It’s softer than he would have imagined. He must really be drunk to be compelled to say, “I’m not a kid.” 

The senior doesn’t look away from Mark but he does pull his hand away with a light hearted chuckle, “Go back to sleep.” 

Mark wakes up the next morning with what feels like cobwebs in his mouth, and arms wrapped tightly around his midsection. Lucas clings to him, drooling on his shirt. Mark flicks his friend’s forehead to stir him awake. “Why the fuck are you cuddling me?”

Lucas peaks up Mark, his tired face morphing into a cheesy grin. “For as bony as you appear, you make for a pretty good cuddle. Why haven’t we done this before?”

“Because you’re not my fucking type."

“Right, we both like the pretty types. Speaking of which, is that why you got fucking wasted? I saw Donghyuck and Jaemin making out. I thought that you and Hyuck were best friends. How could he do that to you?”

Mark shoves the taller man off of him, “They’re dating you idiot. I don’t like Jaemin.”

“They’re dating?!” There’s genuine shock on Lucas’ face. “How did I not notice?!

“Because your brain literally short circuits the moment Renjun gets within a mile radius of you.” 

“Can you blame me? He’s fucking adorable.” Lucas whines, flipping onto his stomach to hide his blushing face. “He didn’t even come to the party last night. Jaemin said he had a project to work on.” 

“Shut up lover boy. I don’t want to hear about Renjun.” Mark finds his discarded shoes under the bed and shoves it on his foot.   

Lucas pops up onto his elbows, “Wait, so that means that you like Ten!”

“Stop talking!” Mark pelts the nearest pillow at Lucas before dashing out of the room. 

"Hey! Don't run away from me!" He jets down the hall to find Johnny, Taeyong, Ten, Chenle and Jisung around the kitchen island enjoying breakfast. It was weird how quickly the two freshmen could get along with the seniors. It took half a season for Johnny to stop addressing him by his full name. 

"He's awake!" Johnny greets in a voice loud enough that it gives Mark pain. 

"Hey, is Donghyuck around?" 

"Nah, he left last night with Jaemin. Told me to take care of you." Of course Donghyuck would say that to Ten. The little shit lived for dropping hints here and there.

"Ah well, um have a good breakfast. Sorry about trying to strip Chenle."

"You didn't throw up in a potted plant and that's all that matters. I would literally rather see the entire team naked than have to deal with throw up." The house doesn't look as trashed as it could in Mark's opinion but it was still a lot for a few people to clean on their own.

"Auntie is going to flip when she notices her favorite plant missing." Ten laughs.

"She won't notice. I'm getting another one shipped here. Twenty-four hour delivery." 

Mark might be slightly hungover but he certainly wasn't hearing things, "Auntie?" 

"Ten and I are cousins? Have I mentioned that?" No Chenle neglected to reveal that silver of information. It would explain how much Johnny and Taeyong doted on him. 

"Do you want anything to eat by the way?" Ten offers. 

"No, I'm okay." That was a lie, Mark was starving and he could really go for some scrambler eggs and toast right now but he definitely couldn't wait around here after last night. "I'm gonna head out. Thanks for the party." 

 

"I am never drinking again." Mark laments face planting into the couch the second he returns to his on campus apartment. He's surprised to find Donghyuck at home sipping on a cup of coffee. He expected him to be at Jaemin's or at the very least for Jaemin to be here. 

"Why? I think you held up pretty well." 

"Dude, I literally looked him in the eye, held his hand and told him to stop calling me a kid. I may as well have told him to acknowledge me as a man. Life isn’t a fucking k-drama." 

"And that could've gone so much worse." 

"You are literally of no help." 

"Hey, I was the one that got him to go check up on you! You should be kissing the ground that I walk on." 

"You're a dick." 

"That's it!" He exclaims. "Maybe if you show him your dick he'll like what he sees and drop to his knees." 

"Shut up!" 

 

"So what's the plan to get Ten to notice you?" Lucas slides next to Mark. They're tabling at the club fair for WRITTEN, where people can put on a performance of whatever their heart's desired. They held the biggest talent show across campus with an array of prizes that attracted a variety of performances. It was the only club that Mark could devote any time to with his hectic basketball schedule and actually wanting to be a good student. 

Lucas never cared much for the club but he attends in support of Mark. Also because he thought that it made him appear more "cultured" and desirable to potential suitors. But he was a big help in promoting the club and drawing in a new crowd so no one could complain that he just took up space.

Where their table is set up they're sat diagonally from the dance club. The perfect location for Mark to doze off and watch Ten flash everyone a pretty smile and show off a dance move every now and again. The dance team has four people tabling. Co-captains Ten and Taeyong and devoted team members Jaemin and Renjun. A star studded cast. Club fairs were nothing more than predatory on incoming freshmen and the best way to sell your club was to sell the illusion that everyone that was a part of it was that good looking. And quite frankly it worked a little too well at that. 

"What's the plan to get Renjun to take you seriously?" Mark shoots back. 

"There isn't a plan. Not really. But I swear he's like three steps away from falling for me." 

"I don't know which one of us is more pathetic." 

"Definitely you." Lucas says without missing a beat, Mark slaps the taller man's chest. "We should just go over there. Say hello."

"Are you out of your mind?" 

"It's a club fair. People go up to tables and chat. We'll just go over there for a few seconds and come back. No big deal." 

"We have a table to man." 

"No. We have people to go after. Follow my lead." 

That's how Mark ends up trailing behind Lucas and he strides to the dance table with confidence. "Would you be interested in joining the poetry club?" Lucas extends a flyer to Renjun, effectively halting the conversation he was having with Jaemin. The dancer squints up at him, the sun shining in his eyes. Lucas tilts to the side to provide shade for the smaller guy, it must be nice to be tall. 

"It's not a poetry club." Mark insists. 

Mark gets a firm elbow to the ribs, "Now is not the time to be talking about semantics, Mark." 

"Poetry is not really my thing " Renjun shrugs, accepting the flyer anyways.

"Well, it's a good thing that this isn't just a poetry club then." Lucas changes his tune.

"Are you sure that you're a part of this club, Lucas?" Jaemin jokes. 

Lucas firmly patted him on the back, "Mark here is truly the creative genius in our duo." 

"I'm not really any good." 

"Are you going to hand the rest of us flyers or does Renjun only get the luxury of an invitation?" Ten asks with a raised eyebrow. 

"Right. Mark tell them more about the club." 

"Uh well you guys know about the talent shows at the end of the spring semester." Last semester, Ten and Taeyong performed a self composed duet called Baby Don't Stop. A hypnotic song with a sensual dance that was just as easily mesmerizing. Leading them to win first prize, a 250 dollar gift card. "But every month we have a smaller gathering with food and stuff where you can perform whatever. A song, a dance, a short skit. Whatever."

"Sounds cool. Do you perform at these gatherings?" 

Mark can't tell if Ten is being sarcastic or not but he answers anyways, "Uh, not really? Like I said, I don't think I'm that good and I don't have much time to write anything presentable with basketball."

"Mark is just being modest. He is surprisingly good." 

"Well, we'll have to go to one of these gatherings one of these days right?" Jaemin says. Mark knows that Jaemin is just trying to move things along for Lucas and Renjun and inadvertently Mark and Ten. Jaemin has been to the meetings before in support of Mark the handful of times he's done a piece and Donghyuck when he wanted to perform. 

"Let's make a deal." Ten rises from his seat, holding out two flyers. "You guys come to our dance social at the end of this week and we'll go to your meeting." 

"Deal." Lucas says. 

"Hey wait, you can't bargain our time." Renjun protests. 

"Sounds like fun." Taeyong says something for the first time during the conversation. "So, we'll see you two on Thursday night?" 

"Sure?" 

"You might want to head back to your table. Those girls seem interested." Ten nods over in that direction. There are two girls at the table scoping through the flyers spread around the table. 

"Fuck." Mark curses, scurrying off to his table. 

"See you Thursday, Mark!" 

 

 

Thursday night, Donghyuck needs to drag him out of his dorm by the arm. "Stop being such a fucking baby." 

"You don't understand." Mark whines. 

"You're right, I don't understand." Donghyuck forces Mark to stand, slapping his friend on the shoulder.

"Ow." Mark pouts. 

Donghyuck takes a firm grasp on Mark's shoulders, shaking the older man. "Listen man, you're Mark fucking Lee! You're smart. You're cute in an awkward boyish sort of way. And most importantly, you're my best friend so I know you better than I know anyone else. You don't need to go in there and talk to Ten but you're definitely going to go in there and have a good time. If not, I’ll be forced to kick your fucking ass." 

“Have I ever told you that you’re shit at pep talks?” 

“But you got my point didn’t you? Now go in there and be strong young padawan.”

Strong. That’s exactly what he is when he finds himself next to the snack table while watching people enjoy the bachata song some kid he doesn’t recognize teaches others how to dance to. The strongest part of him is his stomach to be able to withstand all of the crap that he puts in it. Every now and again he catches Donghyuck’s eyes and his friend gives him the best stank face he can muster while maintaining a smile on his face as Jaemin spins him around. This was fine. He never considered himself much of a coward but this, this was fine. 

There's a really good turn out to the event, a decent mixture of upperclassmen and a lot of freshmen. The dance club was always one of the more popular clubs on campus. They had Aces, the official dance team, which they had auditions for at the beginning of every school year. They held dance workshops every other week for people to learn an assortment of choreography made by fellow students. And then they had these dance socials every so often.

"I've never seen you around here before. Are you a freshmen?" Ten makes a round over to him with the kind of voice that would attract naive freshmen. He's dressed in the same track jacket as the other members of Aces but to Mark the senior stood out above the rest. 

"Uh no, I'm just awkward."

"Yeah right. You command the basketball court whenever you get on it." Did that mean that Ten watched him when he played? Okay, obviously everyone in the audience would have their eyes on whoever possessed the ball and Mark happened to get the ball a lot but let a boy dream. 

"That's different." 

"Is it? There's so much pressure. Everyone's watching you. Heart's beating out of your chest. Seems the same to me." 

"You know basketball?" 

"What? Just because I'm a dancer means that I can't understand sports?" 

"No, that's not what I meant at all. I'm sorry, uh." 

"I'm kidding Mark. I used to play basketball all throughout high school. Not to brag but I think I was pretty good." High school. That would mean that Johnny and Ten played on the same team. He'd have to ask Johnny about it. 

"I'd love to see that one day." 

"Not before you show me your sick dance moves. Is that why you're not out there dancing right now? Got two left feet?" 

"No." It was quite the opposite actually. He'd taken dance classes from the age of ten to fifteen and it was where he actually met Donghyuck. 

"Then I wouldn't be doing my job as a leader in this club if I just let you stand here." Ten takes him by the wrist leading him to the edge of where all the people are. The dancer leaves about a foot of space in between them, if Mark had a bit of alcohol in his system he'd be daring enough to bridge that gap. "You just have to feel the music. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about you as long as you're having fun." 

Mark follows Ten's movements easily, "You know that I'm not actually bad at dancing right?"

"If I'm being honest, Donghyuck told me you guys took dance lessons together for years. I just needed an excuse to get you up here." Mark is left speechless. Was it because of the way Ten was smiling up at him or the admission that he went out of his way to get Mark to do something? He couldn't tell you. "Well now that my job here is done, club duties call." 

"Huh?" 

"If I see you being a loner at the snack table again I'm sending Donghyuck after you." Donghyuck was someone easy to ignore. Mark has had years of practice to be able to act like Donghyuck isn't there. No training could make Mark react in the same way to Ten. 

"Uh hi, everyone." Mark clears his throat into the microphone to get everyone's attention. The club rented out one of the smaller auditoriums for their meetings, the turn out for this meeting being larger than it was in his own freshmen year. "I'm Mark. I'm not actually the president of his club but she had some other obligations to get to tonight. Pre-med life you know?" 

From where he's standing he can't see any of the dancers seated besides Donghyuck, Jaemin, and Taeyong. But Taeyong came with Johnny so that barely counts. He's practically bit a hole through his cheek with nerves in anticipation that Ten would show up. The deal was made a few weeks back so it wouldn't surprise him if Ten forgot about it. Despite Jaemin's reassurance that Ten and Renjun would show up it did very little to satiate his and Lucas' anxiety. 

"I just want to thank everyone for coming out tonight. It means a lot to me and to all of the people performing tonight. We have ten performances lined up for you guys tonight and I hope that you guys enjoy them." 

Mark takes a seat near the back of the auditorium the perfect vantage point to see the performances and the attendees reactions. The first performance is an interpretative dance piece. It's weird in a thought provoking sort of way, not any less the second time around. The election board was required to screen any performances before they make it up on stage to make sure it isn't overtly offensive and this one almost got axed. 

The fourth piece is Mark's personal favorite of what would be shown tonight. A spoken word piece about growing into the person we were meant to be sort of like a tree. Or that's what Lucas said when he heard it for the first time. 

"Pretty piece, isn't it?" Mark turns his head to find Ten seated next to him. 

"You came." 

"I take my deals very seriously. Sorry for coming late though." 

"It's okay. I'm glad that you came." 

"What can I do to see you perform up there?" 

A couple of ideas come to Mark's mind but he settles with saying, "I told you I wasn't very good." 

"And I don't believe you." Mark doesn't know what to say so he chooses not to say anything at all. "You know, I never imagined you to be the creative type." 

"Why? Just because I play sports means that I can't write?" 

Ten shrugs, "Probably." Had they been anywhere else, Mark is sure that Ten would have laughed. 

“I like writing when I find the time.” 

“What do you like to write?” 

“Nothing as poetic as this stuff. When I was younger, I wanted to be a murder mystery writer.” 

“You’re full of surprises aren’t you Mark Lee? What happened to that dream?” 

“I got realistic?” 

“So you decided on basketball?” 

“No, basketball is to pay for college. Now the dream is to be a physical therapist." 

"Quite a change. How do you balance your science curriculum with basketball?" 

"Not very well?" He's handling it better than others or he wouldn't have signed up for a second year of it. His scholarship was also a big draw to keep playing ball but he'd be lying if he didn't think it was hard. The amount of mini breakdowns Donghyuck had to witness in their dorm was almost alarming. 

"Well you fake it really well." 

"What about you? You're practically perfect." 

"Not even close but thanks for thinking so." 

“You’re a graphic design major and co-captain of the dance team while maintaining an internship. Sounds pretty perfect to me.” 

“Dude, I was a chemical engineering major my freshmen year and I failed engineering physics. I was a mess. It takes time to cultivate this.” Ten motions towards his face.  

“Considering you intimidate like everyone, I think you do a pretty good job.” 

Mark didn’t notice that he was staring at the older man until Ten turns to face him and their eyes are meeting and Mark feels like he’s drowning. Even in the darkness only broken by the reflection of the stage lights, he can clearly see Ten’s eyes. And they’re pulling him in deeper and deeper. “Do I intimidate you Mark?” 

It feels as if his vocal cords have evaporated, and none of the words that are running through his head can come out. Ten narrows his eyes at Mark’s lack of response before a smile blooms on his face. In that moment, Mark remembers what it was that started his infatuation with Ten. Without a smile on his face, Ten could look very intense, almost scary. But when he smiles he completely puts the sun to shame with the way that he radiates. As much as it makes Mark’s heart clatter in his chest, the smile is intoxicating bringing one to his own. 

“Let’s make another deal, kid. If I beat you in a one on one game of basketball, you have to show me some of your writing.” 

“What if you’re secretly Steph Curry?” 

“You won’t find out unless you agree, right?’ 

“Deal.” 

Lucas who is sitting in front of Mark turns around to say, “You know some people are actually trying to pay attention here.” Renjun sitting to his right, strikes Lucas’ shoulder. Mark kicks the back of his friend’s chair. 

 

“How are you so good at this when you barely get to talk to Ten? I don’t get it” Lucas laments. 

“Well, for one thing he doesn’t know that I like him so we’re just talking. And two, if there’s anything that I know about Renjun which isn’t much by the way, he probably thinks that you’re joking because you literally never take anything seriously.” 

"And pray tell love guru, Mark Lee how do you suggest I get Renjun to take me seriously?" 

Mark shrugs, "How would I know? I barely know the guy."

"You're of no help Mark." Lucas groans. 

 

"Do you like Ten?" Johnny asks one day after practice. The gym isn't empty yet but they're far enough away from others so that they won't hear. 

"What?" Mark sputters. He doesn't expect the question to come from Ten's own best friend. Had Mark been completely obvious? 

"Do you like Ten?" Johnny repeats again as if the question doesn't crush every bone in Mark's body. The sheer admission of it to anyone that isn't in Mark's immediate circle of friends is too imposing that he can't help but feel crushed under it. Lie. It's not that fucking hard Mark Lee. Lie. But Mark has never been too good of a liar. 

"Maybe?" In an unexpected fashion, Johnny laughs. Mark can't tell what that means. Was the idea that Mark was pining over the senior so inconceivable that it was funny? "Why do you ask?'

"Ten was telling me how you guys have a match planned out between you two and it made me question when you two had gotten so close." 

"I wouldn't exactly call us close. We're barely friends."

"Ah." Johnny hums. 

"What's with that reaction?" 

"Ten would eat you alive." Johnny says like Ten is a predator. As if he goes around making people fall for him and leaving them high and dry. It wasn't Ten's fault that he attracted people like a lighthouse. 

"What if I want to be eaten?" Mark challenges. Okay no, he doesn't want to. But he doesn't mind the idea if it's Ten that's doing anything to him. 

Johnny laughs at him but there's pity in his eyes. "You don't. Ten's my best friend but I'll be the first to admit that he can be kind of a dick. No, he'd be the first to admit that he's a dick and I would have to agree with him." 

"I'll keep that in mind." 

"I won't tell him that you like him, if you're worried about that " He's not. Not really at least. But it's reassuring. 

"Thanks." Forces a smile. 

 

Mark keeps that in mind when Ten shows up for their basketball date. Could it even be called a date. Mark isn't sure what it is. A basketball event? Competition? A duel? A basketball duel! That's what it is. A duel for Mark's sanity. 

"Are you ready to lose?" A smile plays on Ten's lips.

"You shouldn't be so confident" Ten was borderline cocky. If he didn't have enough skill to back it up, he'd be an egomaniac. 

Ten takes the basketball getting a feel for it in his hands, dribbling it in a basic way. "Confidence can get you through the most sticky situations. Remember our deal?" 

"You never quite said what I would get if I win." Mark realizes that Ten doesn't believe that the sophomore will win. He wouldn't have made the deal had he been uncertain. 

"You can have whatever you want kid." Whatever he wants? There was so much he could ask for. 

Mark finds out very quickly that Ten is good. Really good. In fact, Mark is sure that if Ten wanted a spot on the basketball team he could take it with no problem. Ten's at an advantage here. He's seen how Mark plays on the court, knows his strategies. Ten is uncharted territory for Mark and it's easy for Ten to win the match. 

"So, when do I get my prize?" Ten falls to the ground next to Mark. 

"You didn't say that you were good at basketball." 

"You wouldn't have taken the deal if I did." That's where Ten was wrong. Mark would have agreed to any suggestion Ten yad. "I played for like eight years. I was offered a spot on a couple of teams when I was applying to college but I had other dreams instead y'know. Besides, I think I like dancing better. It's more fun." 

"I have a game in a week and a half, so I'll be busy but after that we can set something up." 

 

Mark can honestly say that he's never imagined that he'd be able to get Ten into his bedroom, even for something as benign as showing Ten the shitty stuff that he writes. He doesn't tell Donghyuck that he's coming over in fear that he'd suffer from constant jeering. Or even worse, Donghyuck would pull up with a bowl of popcorn and have a front row seat to Mark making a fool out of himself. He picks a day that he knows Donghyuck will sleep over at Jaemin's place, no chance of him coming home.

"Your room is cleaner than I thought it'd be." Ten comments. 

"Wait until the busiest part of the season hits, it's like a tornado has gone through my room." 

"Trust me, I live with Johnny. He doesn't even use basketball as an excuse. It's just him as a human being."

"You can sit on my bed if you want." 

Mark retrieves his notebook from his desk. The notebook itself isn't tattered and worn, he'd switched to a new leather bound notebook at the start of college. But there are a bunch of papers and post it notes sticking out of it from the times that random ideas pop up on his head during class. He's only about half way through the pages, words haphazardly splayed along them.

For some reason, having Ten flip through his notebook has him feeling uncomfortable. It seems too personal. Like Mark is baring his soul on a platter for Ten to pick on a whim. He can't look at Ten as he does it because Ten is the type of person that wears his scrutiny on his face and Mark's heart can't handle that. 

"This one my favorite." Ten points to a page that Mark swears he can still see the dried tear marks on. The piece is untitled but with the date messily scribbled in the top right hand corner Mark can remember the exact state he was in when he wrote it. His girlfriend of almost two years had broken up with him. It was three days until their two year anniversary and Mark had bought her a gift for it just the week before she ended things. A gold necklace that he ended up pawning to buy booze. Lots and lots of it. 

The free form poem isn't of heartbreak. Mark doesn't find much inspiration from that. He doesn't like memorializing those kinds of feelings. It's about evolution and rising from situations better than when you began. Mark got over her pretty quickly; quicker than he thought he would. Sleeping with people definitely helped. And finding someone else to crush on took his mind away from it. 

"Not mine." It isn't a bad piece but he doesn't like remembering her. 

"Which one is yours?" 

"Well," Mark flips to a page closer to the middle. A newer piece. "Right now, I'm really proud of this one. It started off with the idea of bruises and then I don't know it spiraled into murdering your abusive lover. I just like how it turned out."

"Where do you get your inspiration? Seems fucking dark." 

"Well for that one, Donghyuck came back to our dorm with a hickey on his collarbone and the bruise intrigued me. So it started that way and morphed on its own. I get inspired by pretty much anything really." 

"That's awesome." 

Mark flips the pages again, "I'm really proud of this one too." It was a piece about infatuation. It was about Ten, partially. No  _ inspired _ by Ten, it sounded less creepy that way. How quickly it starts and how it fades twice as fast. He couldn't call whatever he felt towards Ten infatuation anymore. It's gone on too long. It was also about Lucas's pathetic attempts at getting Renjun to love him. 

"It's recent." Ten notes. 

"What's the inspiration for this?" 

"Lucas being stupid for Renjun." A partial lie. Ten doesn't need to hear the whole truth. 

"I think it's cute. And I think Renjun secretly loves it." 

"Does he?" 

"He doesn't know how to deal with him feelings. Lucas doesn't make anything easier. He's a flirty good looking guy it's scary to deal with." 

"You're a flirty good looking guy." 

"Am I?" 

Mark makes the mistake of looking at Ten then his throat goes dry instantly. Ten's eyes flick to Mark's lips and back up to Mark's eyes. With his notebook discarded on the ground, Mark is unsure how he ended up with Ten on top of his grinding down on him. This was a fucking dream. Ten was a better kisser than Mark could've ever imagined. Ten is forceful and Mark is pliant to his every will. There's lip biting and tongue and Ten's hands are moving all over his body. Mark's never been high before but he's sure that it has to feel something akin to this. 

"Have you done this before?" Ten asks, peppering kisses down Mark's neck. 

"What? Have sex? Or with a guy specifically?" 

"Both." 

"Yes to both." 

"Good." 

Mark climaxes with Ten riding him, nailing digging into Mark's thighs as he chases his own release. Mark does his best to meet Ten's hips, hands on Ten's hips pulling the older man down so that he can hit deeper and deeper. This could be the only chance that Mark gets at this and he wants to engrave it into Ten's mind and body. Mark's thankful that Donghyuck isn't in their dorm right now because the moan that escapes Ten's lips would've haunted his best friend in his sleep. When he wakes up the next morning the only reminder he has of the night before are the claw marks that decorate his chest. 

 

It must be a fluke, Mark says to himself. A one off event because Ten wants to put Mark out of his misery. With how quickly Ten left his dorm without a single word, the senior probably wanted nothing more to do with him. It's fine, Mark tries to convince himself. Ten had no obligation to continue on their push and pull game. And he goes on thinking that until Ten comes back to his dorm three days later.. 

This time Mark gets to fuck into the older man. Bend him in half and drive into him over and over again. Ten's babbling things incoherently and the only words that Mark can make out are curses as Ten digs his nails into Mark's back. Ten has a penchant for marking the sophomore up whether it be in the form of a hickey or these scratches. Staking his claim. Marking his territory. Mark didn't mind much he liked remembering but it was inconvenient attempting to cover them up all the time. Ten would eat you up, Johnny had warned. Mark didn't know that he meant literally. That night, Ten screams Mark's name like it's a mantra, riding out his orgasm. 

The third time they do this —Mark doesn't know what else to call it— Ten gets to fuck Mark. Mark's been fucked before. The first person Mark every dated was a guy. Although short lived, they'd done a few things together. It wasn't good the first few times, they were both inexperienced but by the end they had figured things out. And in his freshmen year of college he'd messed around with a few people. Those much experiences were much more fun. But this, this was ecstacy. 

No one had ever fucked him the way that Ten is right now. Tears are pooling at the corner of his eyes from Ten's grip in his hair. It's the only thing that keeps him from face planting into the pillow as Ten fucks him from behind. It’s frustrating how easily Ten can make him fall apart without even trying. Ten lived off of that control. Being able to make Mark crumble with a simple twist of his wrist or a word. Mark’s arms give in and his face falls to the bed giving Ten better leverage to pull Mark back into him. Mark can’t even get a word out when Ten hits a spot that sends him into pure bliss. 

They have been at this for at least a month and a half by the time they get caught. Okay maybe not caught. That implies that someone walked in on them doing something. Which wouldn’t have happened, he's a little more careful than that. Mark walks Ten out of his room the morning after. Ten insisted that he wasn’t the type of person to leave the morning after without a word and that he had an 8 am that he couldn’t skip that first night they slept together. 

What Mark doesn’t expect is for Donghyuck to be standing in the kitchen nursing a mug of coffee. Donghyuck certainly doesn’t expect to see his dance captain walking out of his best friend’s bedroom, his eyes widening. 

Ten halts in his step momentarily before continuing, “I’ll see you later?” 

“Yeah.” 

“You’re fucking Ten?” As soon as the door closes, Donghyuck is ambushing him. 

“Maybe?” There was no use in lying to Donghyuck

“I knew that you were seeing someone and I didn’t want to press anything until you told me. I didn’t think you’d have the balls to do anything with your crush on Ten.”

“Thank you?” 

“So are you dating then?” 

“Not exactly.” 

“Mark….” Donghyuck is already taking a motherly tone with him and quite frankly Mark doesn’t want to hear it. He’s happy right now and he’s not going to let his best friend get in the way of it with sound logic. 

“Don’t.” 

“Do you remember what happened the last time you tried having sex with people with no strings attached?” Yes, Mark remembers. He was there obviously. He may have spiraled out of control a little bit and maybe failed one of his exams freshmen year. In his defense, the average on that exam was a 34 percent and he got a 37 so technically he did amazing. Physics was a useless subject especially for someone that wants to go into healthcare. 

“This is different.” 

“How so?” Well for one thing, there was no danger of catching feelings when he already felt a lot before going into everything. Mark’s lack of an answer is enough to tell Donghyuck that this is a bad idea. “I’m not going to tell you what to do because you never listen to me anyways. But I also don’t want to be the one to be around to pick up the pieces when Ten inevitably hurts you.” 

“You don’t know that he’ll hurt me.”

“Maybe not.” He sighs. “I just want to say that I’m sure you’re just happy to be getting even a fraction of Ten’s attention but don’t ignore what you want out of it either. It’s okay to not be okay with hookup culture. And it isn't fair to you to act like you are just because that's what Ten wants out of it.” 

“I’m fine.” Truthfully, right now in this moment he is fine with it. He didn't know what Ten wanted anyways and he certainly didn't have the courage to ask the senior about it.

“Will you tell me when it’s not fine?”

“Sure mother.” 

 

Things go bad after that. It’s almost like Donghyuck can tell the future. Sense when a storm is moving over the horizon. 

Mark doesn’t consider himself to be a jealous person. Far from it. He’s a rational person that thinks every scenario through before he acts out based on his emotions. But when that sense of rationality is inhibited it’s hard to get Mark back to a place of logic. 

They never put a title to whatever they were so the logical part of Mark’s brain knows that he has no reason to be upset over Ten grinding on some guy at a party and kissing him with the same lips that sucked him off a night ago. He wasn’t even supposed to be here. Would Donghyuck still have dragged him out here if he'd known that this is what Mark would witness? Would Ten be acting this way if he'd known Mark would be here? He doubts it. The rational side of his brain gets fuzzy the moment alcohol is involved. 

Ten pauses when he lays eyes on Mark. Even though there was a sea of bodies in between them it's as clear as day that Ten feels like he was caught doing something he shouldn't have. So Mark does the most logical thing that he can come up with in this moment, he runs. Bolts straight out of the party without much of a direction. 

Ten catches up to Mark faster than he thought Ten would. "Mark!" Ten latches onto his wrist to stop the younger man from running anymore but Mark sharply pulls his arm out of Ten's grasp. "What are you doing here?" The senior doesn't even slur his words. Alcohol couldn't be used as an excuse for his behavior. Ten chose to kiss that guy which makes it worse. 

"Trying not to be so high strung." 

"Then why did you run away?" Why did you run after me, Mark wants to ask. Ten was so good at acting like he cared. 

"What are we?" Mark blurts the question out. If he had been sober, he wouldn't have dared asked Ten the question. It gave Ten the control in this situation and left Mark feeling more vulnerable than he would like. 

"Huh what? Why are you asking?" 

"Because I can't do this anymore!" Mark shouts. "I can't watch you make out with some guy at a party and act like it doesn't piss me off! And I know that we never put a name to what we are so it’s fucking stupid and possessive to be this mad but I just can't fucking do this anymore!" 

"Where is this coming from?" 

"I feel fucking stupid okay?!" No, Mark couldn't cry in front of Ten. But he couldn't fight the stream of tears falling from his eyes. "Stupid for thinking that you'd ever think of me as more than a kid." 

"Mark.…" Ten's pleading at him with his eyes. 

"No. I just can't do this anymore." Mark runs again. 

This time Ten doesn't run after him. 

 

There's a knock on Mark's door, "Mark, I'm coming inside." Mark doesn't know what time it is by the time Donghyuck arrives. He doesn't have a digital clock in his room and he threw his phone in a drawer the second he got back to room. "Ten told me to go check on you." Of course Ten had a hand in this. 

"Did he tell you what happened?" 

"Yeah. He did." Donghyuck slips under the covers next to Mark. This reminds Mark of when they were kids. Donghyuck would come over even when Mark didn't want him to. They'd lie in Mark's bed talking about God knows what for hours. They don't do this very often anymore but when they do it's when one of them is on the verge of spiraling. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"I'm a fucking idiot." Is what Mark says. Donghyuck would prefer Mark to be crying than to be sounding so empty. 

"You're not an idiot."

"You tried to warn me. You knew didn't you?" 

"If you want me to say I told you so I'm not going to. I don't feel good about being right about this." 

"How long has Ten been seeing other people?" 

"How long have you guys had a thing?" 

"Two and a half months." 

"Longer than that." Donghyuck confirms what Mark assumed. He was just another conquest for Ten to conquer. Stupid. "I'm not saying that he slept with those people but he's never had much of an issue with making out with people at these parties." 

"I should've fucking listened to you or even Johnny." 

"You liked him. It's hard to think straight." 

"Did he even care about me?" Was it pathetic of him to still be concerned about what Ten thought of him in this situation? He felt fucking pathetic. But part of him knows that the moments he and Ten had shared together were genuine. Or at least Mark hoped that Ten wasn't so good at lying that he could make Mark believe that he meant more to Ten than he did in reality. 

He couldn't make up the times that Mark woke up to find Ten looking at him. He'd always say something cheesy that would make Mark blush and get flustered. They didn't get to go on many dates, their schedules didn't coordinate very well. But sometimes Ten would join him in the library while he would study and truthfully that did more harm than good because Ten was an amazing distraction. But when Ten wasn't serving as a distraction he would silently spend his time sketching drawings of Mark staring into his books. 

Mark never got to keep anything of the drawings that the other made. The said said that he needed to imprint this moment in his memories because Mark wasn't someone he'd want to forget. That couldn't have been fake. 

"He cared about you a lot." 

"I don't know if I believe that anymore." 

Mark wakes up to the sound of Jaemin failing to quietly shuffle into his room. Donghyuk mumbles some explicative at his boyfriend for disrupting their sleep but there’s little fire behind it when he’s this groggy.  

“I’ve brought reinforcements in the form of ice cream” Mark wonders when Donghyuck found the time to explain that Mark was in crisis because the other man spent the entire night cuddling into Mark’s back. 

“You’re an angel.” Donghyuck praises. 

“I know.” Mark can hear the smile in Jaemin’s voice as the pink haired boy slides into the bed to cover Mark’s front. Mark’s forever thankful that he and Donghyuck had decided to room in the on campus sophomore apartments because the three of them wouldn’t have fit in the twin XL beds of the dormitories. Because right now he definitely needed to be sandwiched in between two of his friends. 

“What kind of ice cream did you get?” 

“Cookies and cream just for you. Also bought whipped cream because that literally makes everything better.”

“I think that I actually might be in love with you.” Mark directs the confession to Jaemin. 

“Wouldn’t be the first person in this room to fall for my charms.”

“Shut the fuck up before I leave you for Mark.”

“You would never.”  

“Dude, I’d trade you in for a really nice ham sandwich.” 

“Love you, Hyuck.” Jaemin says to his boyfriend. 

“Love you, Mark.” Donghyuck snuggles in closer to Mark’s back.  

 

Mark avoids Ten after that. Or maybe it's Ten avoiding him, he can't tell the difference at this point. But it's working for him because the quicker he can force Ten out of his head. 

It isn't working. Not really. 

"Is everything alright with you?" The question comes from Johnny. The other man must know that he and Ten had a falling out. Or it's Mark's selfish hope that Ten could be as emotionally torn up about this as Mark was. God, he hoped that he wasn't okay. 

"Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?" 

"You're tense during practice and jumpy. We can't have you pulling that in a game." His game has been suffering as a result of the break up. Could he even call it a break up? An unfortunate parting? Sounds right. He feels apologetic towards his teammates but he isn't refined enough to suppress those feelings and not let it affect other aspects of his life. 

"I'm sorry." 

"No need to apologize for how you're feeling kid." A silence follows. "If it makes you feel any better, Ten is pretty torn up about it too." 

It doesn't make him feel any better. It kind of makes him want to throw up actually. "Is he?" 

"He said he never wanted to hurt you. That he hated seeing you cry because of something he did." 

"Then I don't get why it turned out this way."

"He doesn't know how to deal with his feelings." 

Mark releases a hollow laugh. That’s what Ten had said about Renjun. Lucas and Renjun were now dating, so he supposes that things worked out for the pair. Having got together around the time that he and Ten fell out it was still fresh and the two were living in their own bubble of happiness. It was as if the universe couldn’t stand Mark and Lucas being in love at the same time. As if the world would collapse from the amount of love they were willing to give. It was fucked up if you asked Mark. 

“Why the fuck do I have to suffer while he’s figuring it out?” 

“You don’t have to, not if you don’t want to. You could move on and try to forget Ten right now and I wouldn’t blame you at all.” If it were that easy Mark would have done it already. “But I swear to you if you can wait a little bit for him to figure it out, Ten won’t disappoint you.” 

It was unfair to ask to sit around and wait for Ten to figure his shit out, Mark is sure that Johnny knows that. But despite that, he’s still asking the impossible of Mark. How long was he expected to wait? It’s been almost three weeks since they fell out and there was no word from Ten. Human emotions are fickle things and Mark quite frankly doesn’t expect Ten to understand everything in that amount of time when he’s barely holding himself together. He’s not going to go grey waiting around. Or at least he hopes that that will be the case. 

 

The end of the semester comes around quicker than Mark anticipates. He manages to pull an A- out of his ass in organic chemistry, god bless a class curve. Mark can finally say he’s actually pretty fucking ecstatic about something for the first time in a while. They plan to go out for a drink to celebrate the last day of the semester. They gather in Donghyuck and his apartment to pre-game because they’re too poor to pay for drinks at an actual bar. Jaemin and Mark were the unfortunate ones that were chosen to remain mostly sober for the night.  

“Yo, fuck organic chemistry.” Lucas leads the toast before they down a shot of rum. Lucas had much less luck with organic chemistry emerging with a C+ but the class average was a C so he couldn’t feel too badly about himself. 

“Who wants another one?” Renjun grabs the bottle of mango flavored poison to pour himself another shot. 

“I could take another.” Chenle volunteers. It was weird hanging out with Ten’s cousin without Ten around but after Renjun effective adopted him the freshmen managed to fit seamlessly into their group. Chenle and Jisung were a package deal so the freakishly tall freshmen tagged along everywhere as well. 

“Maybe you should slow down Jun.” Lucas advises. 

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do.” And that’s how they know that Renjun has had too much too drink. He becomes more aggressive than normal and refuses to listen to a voice of authority. 

“Maybe we should head out then?” 

While they quickly clean up there’s a knock on the door. All seven of them were there and they weren’t expecting anyone else who is it.. 

“Mark or Jaemin you get it. You guys are the most sober.” Donghyuck pushes the two of them towards to door. 

“I got it.” Mark volunteers, afterall it is his apartment at least until they move out. 

The last person Mark expects to see is Ten standing there, holding a wrapped gift firmly against his chest. Mark doesn’t know what to say, so he says nothing, opting instead to just drink in Ten’s appearance. Since their downfall he’s only managed to see the older man from afar, he’s forgotten how flawless he looked up close. Why does his stupid heart beat on its own?

“Hey.” Ten’s voice is soft and he can’t keep Mark’s gaze for too long. 

“What are you doing here?” Mark’s genuine shock makes the statement come out more harsh than he intended it to. 

“I wanted to give you something before we left for the break. Didn't want to leave things that way.”

“You fucking hurt my friend!” Renjun charges into Mark’s back. “I swear to God if you hurt him again I’m going to stomp you.” Lucas quickly pulls Renjun away. Mark didn’t even know that Renjun considered them to be friends nor that he felt so strongly about the issue. It was touching to see that the smaller boy was willing to throw hands for Mark’s sake.  

“Meet us at the club, yeah?” Donghyuck looks worried but he trusts Mark to make sound decisions. 

“Yeah, I’ll meet you guys there.” 

“If you need any backup I’m sure Renjun wouldn’t hesitate to fly over here and handle business.” Jaemin jokes but he’s sure there’s an air of truth to how willing Renjun would be to kick ass. 

They’re left alone in Mark’s apartment and he’s never felt more out of place in his own home before. What is customary to do in this situation?  Is he supposed to offer Ten something to drink? 

“I guess that I can start off by giving you this.” Ten hands him the gift.

“Can I open it?” 

“Go ahead.” 

Peeling away the blue wrapping paper reveals a black and white canvas drawing of himself smiling. The only color from the painting coming from the purple flower in his hair. Mark can remember the exact moment the photo was taken. 

_ The sophomore had accompanied Ten to the park because he needed some inspiration for his photography class. They didn’t call it a date back then but Mark supposes that it was. Mark would goof around with the flowers while Ten would snap the pictures he needed for class.  _

_ “Are you taking a picture of me?” Mark finally notices Ten standing above him looking through the viewfinder. Mark’s crouched down looking at purple geraniums, they remind him of the garden his mom grew when he was young. The weather was transitioning to fall so these flowers would soon wither away.  _

_ “Yeah, I like taking pictures of a pretty view. They inspire me the most.” Ten had said back then.  _

_ Mark picks the flower placing it in his hair, “Yes, I am the true masterpiece. Here take my picture now.” Mark actually poses, smiling into the camera. Ten takes the picture as promised.  _

_ “Do you want to see it?”  _

_ “Why would I want to when I have a work of art standing right in front of me?” Mark’s version of flirting was simply telling the truth with a little more confidence than he normally had.  _

_ “I think you underestimate yourself. You’re my muse.” The compliment made Mark feel fuzzy on the inside.  _

_ “I’ve never been anyone's’ muse before.”    _

_ “It only matters that you’re my muse now.” Ten smiles kissing the corner of Mark’s lips.  _

“It’s a passion piece.” Ten explains the draining. 

Being overly appreciative wasn’t the way to go about this. He was rightfully made and a perfectly crafted piece of arm couldn’t smooth that over too easily. “How long have you been working on it?” 

“Two months or so.” So he started before they stopped talking.

“Why are you giving this to me now?” 

“I planned on giving it to you earlier but I messed up.” 

“It’s beautiful.” 

“Hm, I think the subject matter is more impressive than the art itself.” Mark can’t take compliments very well so he nods. “More than just wanting to give you this drawing, I wanted to apologize to you.”

Finally, Mark wants to exhale but he doesn’t want to come off like a dick either so he waits for Ten to continue. “I really fucking fucked up with you, didn’t I?" 

"Yeah you fucking did." Mark agrees. 

"I know we never put a title to what we were but you were committed to it. And with commitment came feelings. And I guess that's what terrified me about this. The feelings." 

"Did you know that I liked you before the first night?" 

"No, not really. I'm the kind of person that needs to be hit with information directly or it goes over my head." Ten was the oblivious kind. Focused solely on his own desires and not looking at a scope much broader than that. "Johnny had told me after he found out about us though but I could see it in your eyes. Warned me that I would hurt you. I didn't think that he'd be right " 

"And yet here we are." Mark mused. 

"Yeah because I'm a fucking dickhead." Ten laughed. "I hadn't felt something serious for someone since my freshmen year. I got hurt back then, very badly. I don't like talking about it much but I swore off serious relationships after that at least until I finished college." 

"And then what happened?" 

"You happened. I got comfortable. I liked having you around. I stopped seeing other people and that scared me. I'm not asking you for forgiveness because I don't think I deserve it but the last thing that I want is for you to think your anything less than perfect. From the way that you cower at horror movies or cry at shitty romcoms. Or how your nose crinkles when you smile. Or how you can make yourself laugh so hard that you gasp for air. Or how we're both really shitty at cooking but you're determined to impress me. Everything." 

"You think that I'm perfect?" 

"Perfect for me at least. I should've ran after you that night and I'm still kicking myself for not doing so.” Ten’s voice trembles for the first time. It’s the first time that Mark has witnessed the older man to exhibit anything less than an air of confidence. “I can't promise you that I won't fuck up again because God I can be a fucking terrible person sometimes but if you let me I promise that I'll only make you cry of happiness." 

"What do you want from me Ten?" 

"I really like you. Be my fucking boyfriend will you Mark Lee?" 

Mark is already fulfilling Ten's promise as tears bunch up at the corner of his eyes. "I never thought that I'd hear you say that." 

"I could repeat it as much as you want me to as long as I can bring a smile to your face. I like you. I like you.” With each confession, Ten takes a step closer and closer to the sophomore until he can wrap his arms around the younger’s waist. The smile on Ten’s face makes Mark’s heart skip a beat. “I like you." 

"I like you too. So fucking much." 

"Is that a yes then?"

Mark cradles the shorter man’s face to connect their mouths in a simple kiss, pulling back with a smile, "Abso-fucking-lutely." 

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed reading. This is like the closest I will ever get to writing smut-ish things so please comment/kudo if you enjoyed it.  
> Find me [Here](key-ten.tumblr.com)  
> Thank you so much for reading.


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